Time Flies

Today is my son Carson's fifth birthday.I cannot believe it! I remember when we came back from Disney world not too long ago and got a surprise...another baby on the way. I actually contemplated calling him Orlando, since that's where he was conceived with a little help from saki,beer, and a little disney magic. It would have been fitting, but I picture someone who is named orlando wearing puffing french sleeves all the time speaking in an accent. So Carson it was. Now, he is on his way to kindergarten next year, preparing to leave the nest slowly but surely....man.
I have to work today, so we decided to spoil with some presents today and some lunch-tomorrow he will have his big party and a really super cool Thomas the Train cake. I just want him to have fun and know how much he is loved...God I love that kid! He is the spitting image of his father,(although he does have my nose and curly hair) he is onery, stubborn and has a sensitive heart-minus the mustache and beard. Wich if he really takes after his father, he will be sporting facial hair MUCH younger than his piers hahahaha.

Well, I also had my almost full-time hire evaluation lastnight at work too.I have been WAITING for this day, it's been a looooong three months.I never thought it would get here!! The evaluation went very well, and hopefully I will know soon when I get my very anticipated raise! woohoo!! Then I am going to bid to go where my sister is in packaging and also bid for a higher paying position.I CANNOT WAIT!! This way, the next time a birthday rolls around gifts will be more plentiful as well as taking kids to the movies, bowling,etc.The weekends will be filled with activities that make everybody happy, not bored to death.That sucks bad...but I am on my way.Thank God!
I hate the shift, but at least I get weekends off, and alot of four day weekends.I am a glutton for time at home with my family....OINK OINK!!

Hi fuckin' ho.....

Well, shit. My days of spending time with  the family are over for a little while.Not too happy about that whatsoever.I miss my kids SOOO much with this swingshift shit, I am waiting for the other half to get a goddamned job so I can stay home with my kids.Shall I hold my breathe?? Better not. The economy sucks shit right now.I am NOT a happy camper on that matter....!@#$$%^!!!!!!!!!!!  Yep.

BUT on the other hand, I am' trying to keep my holiday cheer for my children mostly, but for my own sanity as well.I have decided to take christmas candies with me to work and coffee sweetened just like I like it to work.This will put a little pleasure in the night and a smile on my face,whatever it takes. Beyond that, my job is...shit...that would take to long to explain.
I am lucky to have one, so I better shut my mouth on it and just grow the hell up a bit.I just wish I got to see my kids more that's all.  I will more than likely play my private jukebox that I have in my head like I always do, and look forward to a four dollar and hour raise hopefully.Gotta keep plugging along for my family, that is what it's all about, not my constant whining.Good god. But for now I will go pick up my adorable four year old-soon to be five come friday-and enjoy his little company before I head out.He heals alot of aching in this heart of mine for sure, I love the shit out of that kid.He never lets his mom down.
But I'm pretty sure if he had to choose between mcdonald's and pizza over me I would LOSE....HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Fish sticks

I started of the night by laying my butt on the couch to watch a movie after putting the last kid to bed (he likes to camp in our bed with a spongebob movie on) around eleven.
So I wake up around oh...two thirtyish  and decide to get up and eat.Big surprise there.
Back on the couch I go.Why is the couch always so much better than our bed? I will never be able to figure that one out. So then I get up again at four.My husband is STILL up at this point playing some game on the computer-he decideds it's bed time too.I scooch the little one over that decides to start coughing his head off. This little one then announces that he wants to go out onto the couch.Back out on the  couch I go.
I always leave the t.v. on when I sleep in the front room.I have some "visitors" that don't particularly like anyone sleeping in the front room, and will make noises if the t.v. is not on.Sounds  crazy? Not until you actually experience it.It's real alright.
Then after I finally fall asleep, it's off to dreamland....
I started to dream that it was summertime/present, and I was outside with all our kids at a house that I didn't recognize, and I was talking to steve on the phone and he was asking about carson because he had been sick and he was worried about him....
Then all of the sudden I was at work waiting to go on shift-when a co-worker started bitching at me for something I'm not sure-
And then I was back home again, and Tyler our oldest had apparently gone fishing because now everbody was eating fish.This included a little girl I have never seen and my childhood friend whom I haven't seen in a long time...The fish lay on a metal grill shaped like a huge goldfish cracker, and had bits taken out of it.....okay??? I guess that could happen??
Then steve was still on my cell phone with me and he starts bawling.
Then I wake up.
I have no idea what this dream meant, or who the little girl was-and I HATE it when I dream about work period. Now I want fish.For god's sake, me and food need to part ways to begin with and now I'm craving grilled fish and it's actually making me hungry right now.
Fish sticks will have to do, because I have no ambition to grill a shittin' thing.
I plan on writing these dumb ass dreams down when I get up, because it's the only way I will EVER remember  them fully.It only reminds me how damn random my brain is,  but that's okay.It's entertainment.

What to do...

I am on a search. I am on a search for someone trustworthy to tell me if my book could be a screenplay. I think if it were tweaked here and there it may be a good movie. Going back and reading it, I really wish I would have done a few things in it differently but I got what I got.
I know it's not a perfect masterpiece by far but the story is pretty good and the characters are unique. What to do....perhaps pick a screen writer from a movie that was worth a shit and just send them a copy.How do I decide??
I do not want to be a factory worker for any longer than I have to, and I would really like to have alot more for my kids.Crazy imagination I know, but alot of other people started out with an idea too, and look at them now. This is driving me nuts.
I have seen some pretty BAD movies that should NEVER have made it anywhere, yet they are still made....I may have a shot...HAHAHAHAHAHA!! Never hurts to try.
I will do some searching.

Wrong number???

Okay....so I am a dumbass,but first I will go back a hair so this story is complete.
My sister and I are taking over Christmas dinner for my mother, she is older now and is just tired.I actually am the one that volunteered to have it at my house (I'm going to have to clean...shit!!) and thank God my husband was on board too or that would have been bad.
Mom has been cooking dinners at least three times a year for oh...let me see..over fifty years?? YEAH I'd get tired of it too. You spend all this time preparing every meal from scratch (because that's how they do it-old school) and family comes, gobbles it up, drives you crazy and then leaves.Oh, not to mention that's the only flippin'assed time you basically see them all year.  Kids.
BUT anyway, my sister and I have been conversing on the phone about this dinner, and how we are going to bring it together with what people will bring, etc. Thismorning I decided to hit her up and let her know that I had talked to our brother, so I texted her and asked her if she was as work and she said no so I called her....
Okay.First of all-nowadays we have people on intstant dial on our phones.I myself have a few numbers that I know by heart, but mostly I just push a button on my damn phone to call them. Perhaps I should pay attention??
When I called my sister, I used the house phone and actually punched the number in..so if I got it FROM my phone it should be right---right?? I don't know what the hell happened, but the person on the other end of the phone sure didn't sound like my sister.I was pretty sure I heard a few cats in the background meowing-and my sister has no damn cats!
I went on for a minute,with the "Oh I texted you and you texted me back-wanted to talk to you about christmas dinner-blah blah blah-".The whole time I'm thinking 'this person has no fucking clue who I am and  I have dialed the WRONG number because I am a MORON!
So what did I do?? I HUNG UP..That's right. I hung up.I felt so stupid and rediculous I had to get the hell out of THAT situation while I still had any dignity.Do you know what this person did???  SHE CALLED ME BACK!!?? Yeah! Holy shit-she called me right back and says "Yeah sometimes my phone dies"  I couldn't believe it!! WHY did she call me back if she doesn't even know WHO the hell I am to continue this empty conversation??
Are people really that desperate to talk on the damn phone???
Well I regained my curteous composure and went on about why I called for a second and politely let her go. THAT WAS NOOOOT MY SISTER....
WTH?? Am I in the flippin assed twilight zone today or what?? I just don't know. I have several days like this I must admit, but this one was particularly weird.Who ever  this person was, she was very kind to a moron misdialing...or she thought a crazy person got ahold of the damn phone.She actually went along with me and didn't embarass the shit out of me.Whoever she is, I thank her HAHAHAHAHA!! GOD I am a moron!!
So remember.We are not used to PUNCHING in people's numbers anymore to call them..beware when you venture to use your brain and your landline together.You could be a bumbling misdialing moron on the phone. Just saying. Also I STILL have to talk to my sister. Shit.

Still doing nothing...

If I had it my way yet again, my house would be spotless and organized.I am somewhat of a slob,not a dirty pig mind you, just not a real neat and tidy person-didn't used to be that way.Perhaps I just get tired of cleaning shit that people just destroy ten minutes later. I used to be an organizing fool, right down to every sock in the house. Things CHANGE after about seven kids...you just flat don't give a shit about socks anymore, and just keeping the house straightened up at all is a miracle.
I would spend much of my time in Mexico or Hawaii if I could, on a sandy beach with my toes in the sand...people keep pissing me off and this will happen sooner than expected...yep.
I would gladly be poor as hell as long as I had that ocean at my feet, feeling the warm breeze and spray of the ocean in my face.I would be as dark as a candybar and not give a thought to anything.That's what being on a tropical island does to a person.It releases  their soul.
I am rambling, but that's how my brain works, so hopefully I will be able to gather thoughts up so that they make some damn sense,but if not, at least I wrote it down right? Right! HAHAHAHA!!
I think here in a bit I will score me some cigs (hopefully fingers crossed) and then retire to my spot-listen to some Florence and the Machine-perhaps some white rabbit.I need to get my damn mojo back.Lost it about a year ago, and have been a shell ever since.Long story.But for right now, I will finish up a few impending things.And perhaps eat again....BAHAHAHAHA!! Oh what the hell, I'm old and maried,not looking for a hot date.

In sitting here, I realize I may just not to a damn thing today.I wish that I could round up a chum of mine and drink some coffee and sort out the  waverly ways of morons...I miss our conversations so damn much, and our occasional movie nights as well.
She is such a smart woman, I admire her so much! She would say pfffft!! To that, but she knows where she stands with me, she's the damn bomb. She and I share many things in common, right down to loving m&ms. Someday when we are old, we will own a taco stand or something to that affect on a  tropical island somwhere. We won't have to be rich, just fat smiles on our faces will enough for us...unti then I will do this "thing" called life and what comes rolling along with it. NO it's not fun all the time but there's not much I can do about that. Making sure my kids don't grow up to be morons or serial killers is my design at this point, yeah that sounds fkd up I know-but that is the way it is nowadays.
I think I'll drink a beer or two and  eat more, big shock there, I know huh?? But wtf it's sunday.....

Duh,,,,,,,,

I am not.....a computer wiz...it's going to take me a while to learn how do to this.
I may have to call on a friend of mine to help me out.

First Holiday season...

Well, during November I have three kids' birthdays plus mine so essentially I am broke this month but I don't care.We  can't take it with us now can we? Besides that watching the smile on their faces is way fun.My daughter is fifteen going on thirty, or so she thinks.My ten year old just wants video games and the five year old is pretty much the same, except wanting damn mcdonald's all the time. It' amazing the little things you learn from your kids here and there, they can take you by surprise.Other times they keep you alive.
I am a packrat from hell, so finding the christmas tree and decorations was a nightmare in itself. I figured I better get it done while I had a few days off, so my daughter helped me,and she hung up all the lights. I LOVE the dollar store, and found some spicy wonderful candles to burn to start some holiday spirit in the house. I know I get some time off during christmas, wich I am thouroughly looking forward to.This new job I got is taking some adjusting, but when I score that four dollar an hour raise it will make it worth it for damn sure.
I start thinking about my dad this time of year more so, and it's not easy.He always made a big deal out of holidays and taught us kids to cherish family and being together.He died a few years ago and it demolished my heart literally. Too much for words.
In my random spittle of thoughts, I MAY go try to write something or pick up a book.Stephen King of course, and I have a few of them so we will see.I really should clean...bullshit I think I'll try to write. I am a lazy ass by nature I guess.