A great day

Well, Christmas was smooth and happy.I took over Christmas dinner and it went very well I think.A little crowded, but that was okay.Everyone  got plenty to eat and had a good time.My mother felt a little lost not having to help do anything, but I think she appreciated not having to worry about making yet another dinner.She's only been doing it for fifty plus years!
The kids were very happy with their gifts, and thankfully I have a thrifty husband who saw to it that they all had  good gifts that they are now enjoying.He never wants anything for himself,the only thing he ever wants is for his family to be happy.I could not ask for a better spouse indeed. He was a gracious host, showing people out to the rec room and keeping a fire going for them to enjoy.
I ate way too much, but what the hell.Tis the season to be fat and merry I say.
I think about families who didn't have a Christmas this year and it just breaks my heart.I want to be filthy rich for a few reasons, but one of the main ones is to help those who are trying their asses off and need a little help.You can't take money with you, so I say spend it on those who need it probly more than you. Perhaps one day this will be a reality.
My biggest Christmas wish of all? That all the bullshit on this planet just stops. That would be nice. Merry Christmas all, and God Bless you. I'm getting bugged by a five year old haha, I will be back soon!

Today

Well, today was a pretty good day. I have to admit, all my sixty days was worth it.I am now a full time employee of the most honorable french fry company to our existence.I think I spelled that wrong...oh well that's okay haha-I now am part of a company that is pretty cool I  think, and am pretty happy about it. At our orientation, we got to meet our bigwigs and hear their success stories, actually getting me excited about this new job/career possibility thing with this place. I am enjoying stuffing bags of fries into boxes, I actually have a smile on my face while I do it and have a little pep in my step.It feels pretty damn good!
I on the other hand, am reeling by today's events of some fucking monster shooting a bunch of children and teachers. That could have been our kids' school just as easy, and it just scares the hell out of me to think that could have happened here.Not to say that I am the least bit happy about it happening at all anywhere but here-it shouldn't have happened at all.
People take for granted that when they send their kids off to be babysat by teachers that nothing is going to happen, and their lives will go on every day,mostly planned as usual.Not so. This is bullshit that we cannot even rest assured in anything anymore.
My heart is just sick as well as a hell of alot of other people that just can't understand this. I hope by all means that  the rotten little prick shooter rots in hell.I have not a drop of forgiveness for the little bastard, and I don't care if I rot for it either.
There is a special place in hell for fuckers like this....I think I will drink a damn beer now.

hopefully

WELL hopefully today is my LAST day on the stinky side of where I work...For God's sake let it be. Enough complaining, on the better side I shall have a raise very soon, and will look forward to taking my kids to do things on the weekends instead of sitting around staring at eachother. I'm not that entertaining to them, bless their little souls, although they would never tell me this.
Life is as interesting as we choose to make it.... oh yes indeed. I will be back later to jot down what's up.My log of my oh exciting existence.

monday....barf

Another monday....well at least it's closer to Christmas.I spent the weekend hanging with the kids and really just not doing alot of thinking about much.However, I did start to write another story.I have started a few and not finished them-who knows why.I have an idea of where this one will go, but I am going to take my total time on this one.No rushing-and a story board won't be a bad idea either.Makes editing odds and ends easier.The last time I had a book published it was too hurry hurry, and there were mistakes made that still piss me off to this day. So hopefully this time it will turn out better.
I always have a million ideas for stories, but never know where to start.It's so irritating.Finding time alone to write is almost nil so that doesn't help either. We all have wacky ideas and dreams here and there, and I am no different.I want to have a book put into a screenplay one day. Never know, I could be dipping my toes in the hawaiian waters instead of working in a damn factory.Like I have said before, I am lucky to have a job, but it's not my idea of fun in the least at this place.I don't eat fries anymore, let's put it that way.
As the holiday comes closer, I am very excited to have my family over-although we always know some sort of drama comes out of it somewhere so hopefully they can contain their bullshit.It also makes me think of my dad and miss him even more.Usually I dream about him every once in a while, but haven't in a long time.Sucks. We don't really know what's on the other side, but knowing him,he's drinking coffee somewhere with his old army boys yacking his ass off enjoying himself.I hope so.
For the moment it's quiet, so maybe I will try my hand at doing a little writing. We'll see how that goes.

Yep

After getting up thismorning full of what ever the hell it was, I cleaned out a few cupboards.Be is enthusiasm for getting ready for family to come over, or just the fact my kitchen is a shithole and it needs done-who really knows. I alsot discovered that my collection of cool whip bowls,empty cottage cheese containers and etc officially rules me as an official redneck.They are indeed my finest tupperwear set, embarassing as that may be ,it is true. However, the cupboards are organized and shit don't fall out anymore when you open the cabinet doors.Success I soppose, but I still need to paint the ancient cupboards, they probably haven't had it since the forties.I am picturing a somewhat chaotic holiday, yet peaceful hopefully-so we will see what conveys.I just want to get a little drink on hopefully, and enjoy the kids with their gifts.
I do want snow, however, when christmas is over it can melt and go the hell away. Sledding would be  fun , but we never have enough snow to even do this, such a cheat anymore.
I told my husband I wanted a hamster or a rat for christmas, but since he doesn't like little fuzzy creepy crawlies I don't see that happening. God forbid the little thing get lose and scare the living daylights out of him.hehehehe...I myself would enjoy it. The girls had guinea pigs at one point, but all they do is piss all over and squeak.No piggies here.
I have also decided to swear off diets.Fuck it. I'm chubbily happy with myself and just happen to love food to much to desert it. I will chew my way to diabetes no doubt, but at least I will have a chocolate covered happy damn face.
I am hoping that here very soon I will win the damn lottery and share my wealth with a few choice people, and then my taco stand in Hawaii or Jamaica will become a reality.I have a dear friend of mine whom I plan on having  tag along with me.
Until then, I am going to try my hand at writing another story, but this time I will see if a publisher wants to pick it up instead of paying for it to be published myself.Can't stop trying if you wanna be rich.

Things that make you say...I hate you.

In this world, there are people and things that we will never understand.
The first, is women that are more worried about getting their hair and nails done  than taking care of their kids' needs first.They worry more about putting their mugs in various poses in the bathroom, and how men are cheating them than the real important shit.

The second, is people that are desparately trying to get on disability and play video games all day than work when they are more than capable of working.They need to get off their lazy asses and take care of their families.

The third, is people that are oblivious to others needs around them.They go about their merry little ways and shit on thers around them whenever they feel necessary.They are more worried about themselves...eating,sleeping,medication, etc. on and on and on.Grow the fuck up and grow some feelings while your at it.Othe people do exist.Welcome to the real world.

This is just a few of the people that make you say, I hate you.There are several more, but it's early and my old ass is tired.

Oh, it is the season....for colds and cough at this point anyway. Isn't it amazing how well germs travel through the house from person to person, inhabiting every moment of daily life? SUCKS. But Christmas is getting closer and hopefully by that point it will have passed, it sucks to be sick over holidays for little kids-it's just not fair.My five year old has discovered how much he loves the movie "Elf", wich is just fine by me as I never get tired of watching it. No matter what shitty mood I'm in that movie always cheers me up, I love Will Ferrel.
Work...on the other hand plods along, just waiting for better things to come like getting moved out of stinky potatoe land.Sweet potatoes are the devil's works I say, and to hell with them. Who ever thought of these tricky little ways to process food was a total idiot, and if people could see how it was done, they would definately  think twice before they ate it. The smell itself has pretty much taken care of my appetite, wich won't hurt me by far but it would be nice not to have this fowl smell stuck in my damn nose.
Not too much excitement around here for now, just "Elf"-and with pleasure.

The closet...

Well...I have actually been motivated to clean what needs it and has desparately for some time now-partly because it's rediculous and partly because my family is coming for christmas and I don't want them to think I'm a pig.I am a PACKRAT FROM HELL...it's a horrible habit I have had my whole life, probably some disorder of some type? Who knows, but anyway, I do it just the same.I have worked my way here and there, trying to figure out just where to start-way too many choices that suck if you ask me.But one thing that drives my husband c-r-a-z-y is my closet.I have this wonderful habit of just shoving shit in there and pretending that it no longer exists. Today was the day I had just enough to go in there and see what damage I could do.OH MY GOD!! What in the hell have I been doing all these months? It's like a time warp of crap in there, and I wanted no part of it! From halloween decorations and costumes, to christmas stuff to everything else you can imagine, it was in there.It's what nightmares are truly made of indeed. Nonetheless it looks better now, and hopefully my family won't call "hoarders" on me anytime soon. No more tripping in and out of there just praying it will "poof" disappear.
On the other hand, I still have a corner that I don't want to even venture into, but I am sure that is next.Shit... but I am enjoying the weekend just being around my kids and savoring not being at work, wich is going to look up here pretty quick. I will hopefully move to where my sister works, and be happier...much happier. For now, I will be happy about the closet and enjoy a little reading time hopefully today.

Time Flies

Today is my son Carson's fifth birthday.I cannot believe it! I remember when we came back from Disney world not too long ago and got a surprise...another baby on the way. I actually contemplated calling him Orlando, since that's where he was conceived with a little help from saki,beer, and a little disney magic. It would have been fitting, but I picture someone who is named orlando wearing puffing french sleeves all the time speaking in an accent. So Carson it was. Now, he is on his way to kindergarten next year, preparing to leave the nest slowly but surely....man.
I have to work today, so we decided to spoil with some presents today and some lunch-tomorrow he will have his big party and a really super cool Thomas the Train cake. I just want him to have fun and know how much he is loved...God I love that kid! He is the spitting image of his father,(although he does have my nose and curly hair) he is onery, stubborn and has a sensitive heart-minus the mustache and beard. Wich if he really takes after his father, he will be sporting facial hair MUCH younger than his piers hahahaha.

Well, I also had my almost full-time hire evaluation lastnight at work too.I have been WAITING for this day, it's been a looooong three months.I never thought it would get here!! The evaluation went very well, and hopefully I will know soon when I get my very anticipated raise! woohoo!! Then I am going to bid to go where my sister is in packaging and also bid for a higher paying position.I CANNOT WAIT!! This way, the next time a birthday rolls around gifts will be more plentiful as well as taking kids to the movies, bowling,etc.The weekends will be filled with activities that make everybody happy, not bored to death.That sucks bad...but I am on my way.Thank God!
I hate the shift, but at least I get weekends off, and alot of four day weekends.I am a glutton for time at home with my family....OINK OINK!!

Hi fuckin' ho.....

Well, shit. My days of spending time with  the family are over for a little while.Not too happy about that whatsoever.I miss my kids SOOO much with this swingshift shit, I am waiting for the other half to get a goddamned job so I can stay home with my kids.Shall I hold my breathe?? Better not. The economy sucks shit right now.I am NOT a happy camper on that matter....!@#$$%^!!!!!!!!!!!  Yep.

BUT on the other hand, I am' trying to keep my holiday cheer for my children mostly, but for my own sanity as well.I have decided to take christmas candies with me to work and coffee sweetened just like I like it to work.This will put a little pleasure in the night and a smile on my face,whatever it takes. Beyond that, my job is...shit...that would take to long to explain.
I am lucky to have one, so I better shut my mouth on it and just grow the hell up a bit.I just wish I got to see my kids more that's all.  I will more than likely play my private jukebox that I have in my head like I always do, and look forward to a four dollar and hour raise hopefully.Gotta keep plugging along for my family, that is what it's all about, not my constant whining.Good god. But for now I will go pick up my adorable four year old-soon to be five come friday-and enjoy his little company before I head out.He heals alot of aching in this heart of mine for sure, I love the shit out of that kid.He never lets his mom down.
But I'm pretty sure if he had to choose between mcdonald's and pizza over me I would LOSE....HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Fish sticks

I started of the night by laying my butt on the couch to watch a movie after putting the last kid to bed (he likes to camp in our bed with a spongebob movie on) around eleven.
So I wake up around oh...two thirtyish  and decide to get up and eat.Big surprise there.
Back on the couch I go.Why is the couch always so much better than our bed? I will never be able to figure that one out. So then I get up again at four.My husband is STILL up at this point playing some game on the computer-he decideds it's bed time too.I scooch the little one over that decides to start coughing his head off. This little one then announces that he wants to go out onto the couch.Back out on the  couch I go.
I always leave the t.v. on when I sleep in the front room.I have some "visitors" that don't particularly like anyone sleeping in the front room, and will make noises if the t.v. is not on.Sounds  crazy? Not until you actually experience it.It's real alright.
Then after I finally fall asleep, it's off to dreamland....
I started to dream that it was summertime/present, and I was outside with all our kids at a house that I didn't recognize, and I was talking to steve on the phone and he was asking about carson because he had been sick and he was worried about him....
Then all of the sudden I was at work waiting to go on shift-when a co-worker started bitching at me for something I'm not sure-
And then I was back home again, and Tyler our oldest had apparently gone fishing because now everbody was eating fish.This included a little girl I have never seen and my childhood friend whom I haven't seen in a long time...The fish lay on a metal grill shaped like a huge goldfish cracker, and had bits taken out of it.....okay??? I guess that could happen??
Then steve was still on my cell phone with me and he starts bawling.
Then I wake up.
I have no idea what this dream meant, or who the little girl was-and I HATE it when I dream about work period. Now I want fish.For god's sake, me and food need to part ways to begin with and now I'm craving grilled fish and it's actually making me hungry right now.
Fish sticks will have to do, because I have no ambition to grill a shittin' thing.
I plan on writing these dumb ass dreams down when I get up, because it's the only way I will EVER remember  them fully.It only reminds me how damn random my brain is,  but that's okay.It's entertainment.

What to do...

I am on a search. I am on a search for someone trustworthy to tell me if my book could be a screenplay. I think if it were tweaked here and there it may be a good movie. Going back and reading it, I really wish I would have done a few things in it differently but I got what I got.
I know it's not a perfect masterpiece by far but the story is pretty good and the characters are unique. What to do....perhaps pick a screen writer from a movie that was worth a shit and just send them a copy.How do I decide??
I do not want to be a factory worker for any longer than I have to, and I would really like to have alot more for my kids.Crazy imagination I know, but alot of other people started out with an idea too, and look at them now. This is driving me nuts.
I have seen some pretty BAD movies that should NEVER have made it anywhere, yet they are still made....I may have a shot...HAHAHAHAHAHA!! Never hurts to try.
I will do some searching.

Wrong number???

Okay....so I am a dumbass,but first I will go back a hair so this story is complete.
My sister and I are taking over Christmas dinner for my mother, she is older now and is just tired.I actually am the one that volunteered to have it at my house (I'm going to have to clean...shit!!) and thank God my husband was on board too or that would have been bad.
Mom has been cooking dinners at least three times a year for oh...let me see..over fifty years?? YEAH I'd get tired of it too. You spend all this time preparing every meal from scratch (because that's how they do it-old school) and family comes, gobbles it up, drives you crazy and then leaves.Oh, not to mention that's the only flippin'assed time you basically see them all year.  Kids.
BUT anyway, my sister and I have been conversing on the phone about this dinner, and how we are going to bring it together with what people will bring, etc. Thismorning I decided to hit her up and let her know that I had talked to our brother, so I texted her and asked her if she was as work and she said no so I called her....
Okay.First of all-nowadays we have people on intstant dial on our phones.I myself have a few numbers that I know by heart, but mostly I just push a button on my damn phone to call them. Perhaps I should pay attention??
When I called my sister, I used the house phone and actually punched the number in..so if I got it FROM my phone it should be right---right?? I don't know what the hell happened, but the person on the other end of the phone sure didn't sound like my sister.I was pretty sure I heard a few cats in the background meowing-and my sister has no damn cats!
I went on for a minute,with the "Oh I texted you and you texted me back-wanted to talk to you about christmas dinner-blah blah blah-".The whole time I'm thinking 'this person has no fucking clue who I am and  I have dialed the WRONG number because I am a MORON!
So what did I do?? I HUNG UP..That's right. I hung up.I felt so stupid and rediculous I had to get the hell out of THAT situation while I still had any dignity.Do you know what this person did???  SHE CALLED ME BACK!!?? Yeah! Holy shit-she called me right back and says "Yeah sometimes my phone dies"  I couldn't believe it!! WHY did she call me back if she doesn't even know WHO the hell I am to continue this empty conversation??
Are people really that desperate to talk on the damn phone???
Well I regained my curteous composure and went on about why I called for a second and politely let her go. THAT WAS NOOOOT MY SISTER....
WTH?? Am I in the flippin assed twilight zone today or what?? I just don't know. I have several days like this I must admit, but this one was particularly weird.Who ever  this person was, she was very kind to a moron misdialing...or she thought a crazy person got ahold of the damn phone.She actually went along with me and didn't embarass the shit out of me.Whoever she is, I thank her HAHAHAHAHA!! GOD I am a moron!!
So remember.We are not used to PUNCHING in people's numbers anymore to call them..beware when you venture to use your brain and your landline together.You could be a bumbling misdialing moron on the phone. Just saying. Also I STILL have to talk to my sister. Shit.

Still doing nothing...

If I had it my way yet again, my house would be spotless and organized.I am somewhat of a slob,not a dirty pig mind you, just not a real neat and tidy person-didn't used to be that way.Perhaps I just get tired of cleaning shit that people just destroy ten minutes later. I used to be an organizing fool, right down to every sock in the house. Things CHANGE after about seven kids...you just flat don't give a shit about socks anymore, and just keeping the house straightened up at all is a miracle.
I would spend much of my time in Mexico or Hawaii if I could, on a sandy beach with my toes in the sand...people keep pissing me off and this will happen sooner than expected...yep.
I would gladly be poor as hell as long as I had that ocean at my feet, feeling the warm breeze and spray of the ocean in my face.I would be as dark as a candybar and not give a thought to anything.That's what being on a tropical island does to a person.It releases  their soul.
I am rambling, but that's how my brain works, so hopefully I will be able to gather thoughts up so that they make some damn sense,but if not, at least I wrote it down right? Right! HAHAHAHA!!
I think here in a bit I will score me some cigs (hopefully fingers crossed) and then retire to my spot-listen to some Florence and the Machine-perhaps some white rabbit.I need to get my damn mojo back.Lost it about a year ago, and have been a shell ever since.Long story.But for right now, I will finish up a few impending things.And perhaps eat again....BAHAHAHAHA!! Oh what the hell, I'm old and maried,not looking for a hot date.

In sitting here, I realize I may just not to a damn thing today.I wish that I could round up a chum of mine and drink some coffee and sort out the  waverly ways of morons...I miss our conversations so damn much, and our occasional movie nights as well.
She is such a smart woman, I admire her so much! She would say pfffft!! To that, but she knows where she stands with me, she's the damn bomb. She and I share many things in common, right down to loving m&ms. Someday when we are old, we will own a taco stand or something to that affect on a  tropical island somwhere. We won't have to be rich, just fat smiles on our faces will enough for us...unti then I will do this "thing" called life and what comes rolling along with it. NO it's not fun all the time but there's not much I can do about that. Making sure my kids don't grow up to be morons or serial killers is my design at this point, yeah that sounds fkd up I know-but that is the way it is nowadays.
I think I'll drink a beer or two and  eat more, big shock there, I know huh?? But wtf it's sunday.....

Duh,,,,,,,,

I am not.....a computer wiz...it's going to take me a while to learn how do to this.
I may have to call on a friend of mine to help me out.

First Holiday season...

Well, during November I have three kids' birthdays plus mine so essentially I am broke this month but I don't care.We  can't take it with us now can we? Besides that watching the smile on their faces is way fun.My daughter is fifteen going on thirty, or so she thinks.My ten year old just wants video games and the five year old is pretty much the same, except wanting damn mcdonald's all the time. It' amazing the little things you learn from your kids here and there, they can take you by surprise.Other times they keep you alive.
I am a packrat from hell, so finding the christmas tree and decorations was a nightmare in itself. I figured I better get it done while I had a few days off, so my daughter helped me,and she hung up all the lights. I LOVE the dollar store, and found some spicy wonderful candles to burn to start some holiday spirit in the house. I know I get some time off during christmas, wich I am thouroughly looking forward to.This new job I got is taking some adjusting, but when I score that four dollar an hour raise it will make it worth it for damn sure.
I start thinking about my dad this time of year more so, and it's not easy.He always made a big deal out of holidays and taught us kids to cherish family and being together.He died a few years ago and it demolished my heart literally. Too much for words.
In my random spittle of thoughts, I MAY go try to write something or pick up a book.Stephen King of course, and I have a few of them so we will see.I really should clean...bullshit I think I'll try to write. I am a lazy ass by nature I guess.